[opening theme music]
Will somebody please cue that bird?
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ Oh Yeah ♪
♪ Who do you call When you want some pepperoni ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ Right on ♪
♪ They're sniffin' out crime And you know that ain't balony ♪
♪ There's Speedy Cerviche He's the leader of the bunch ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ A heck of a fighter Makes a heck of a lunch ♪
♪ And little Polly Ester Who's never afraid ♪
♪ That's me ♪
♪ Of going into battle When the bad guys invade ♪
♪ There's Guido Anchovy A wild, romantic rover ♪
♪ This cat gets knocked down With a love hangover ♪
♪ Here come the Pizza Cats ♪
♪ They're so bad Ta-daa ♪
♪ They've got more fur Than any turtle ever had ♪
♪ They're stronger Than Old Cheese ♪
♪ Stronger than Old Cheese ♪
♪ They're stronger than dirt ♪
♪ Stronger than dirt ♪
♪ If you step on their tails ♪
♪ Not on my tail ♪
♪ Then you're gonna get hurt ♪
♪ Don't hurt me ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ They're fighting crime All over town ♪
♪ Three...two...one Pizza Cats are on the run ♪
♪ The Big Cheese is the villain Who's lower than low ♪
♪ It's a rotten shame He lives in Little Tokyo ♪
♪ We've got our nasty Bad Bird Some nasty Ninja Crows ♪
♪ As soon as someone Finds the script ♪
♪ We might begin the show ♪
♪ So sit right back Kick up your feet ♪
♪ And turn the sound up high ♪
♪ And if you want The full effect ♪
♪ Go eat a pizza pie ♪
[laughter]
[splash]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
Ooh, hey, I'm starving! Somebody get me a pizza!
Princess Vi is having hunger pangs and wants a pizza now.
She says, she wants Speedy to make the delivery.
[Speedy] Did somebody call my name?
[yawning]
I guess Princess Vi's got the munches, huh?
I'll be right back. [yawning]
Hey guys, I got fiber that Speedy will miss
the princess' house by a mile.
If he does, she'll turn on that stupid siren again,
and twice as loud.
Hey, make you should take the delivery,
and tell the princess, Speedy is out on a mission.
If I show up with the pizza, Princess Vi might just look
for some excuse to send the thing back.
Yeah, she'd say, pizza without Speedy touches,
is like a day without temper tantrum.
[all laughing]
[narrator] By the way, both Polly and Francine
took Guido up on his bet.
They figured Little Tokyo's invigorating smug
would be enough to wake Speedy up in time
to land right on Princess Vi's lap.
[Francine] You will note here, folks, Vi's alarm has ceased,
because Speedy is on his way with a flying feast.
And remember, the White Zone is for loading and unloading only.
Hurry, he's gonna launch any second!
Wow, you're slow.
Too slow.
Listen here, Sonny Boy, I'm redoing this White Zone
for the cats on a strictly voluntary basis.
So unless you want to help, keep your track shut.
Oh, you are? Wow!
Fly away!
[explosion]
[snoring]
Where is he?
And that pizza better be hot, when it gets here.
[explosion]
[clank]
[grunting]
Gee, what a landing.
Huh?
[Speedy] Oh, hi ya there, Emperor Fred, here you go.
Oh-oh!
[narrator] That pie was so cold, Fred looked into the kitchen
for some repair work.
Hurray!
[narrator] With a spot of soya sauce,
a glob of Russian dressing, and a smattering of salt,
pepper and[indistinct].
He turned a common pie into a master piece.
Huh? This is a pizza?
It was, until your father got hold of it.
He's been bugging me to widen my culinary horizons,
but this looks like it has been dragged through a garbage dump.
Maybe I try it anyway.
[explosion]
[growls]
Send for Speedy!
And get my father in here, too.
-How angry was she? -Pretty angry.
[narrator] She was so angry, she forgot she had the munches,
and send both Speedy and own father into exile
on a slow boat to China.
Into exile?
Excuse me for asking this, Vi, but why?
I had to do it. Rule 7.55 of the spoilt princess' code
is very explicit.
It says, exile immediately anyone who dares
mess with your munches.
But did you have to put them on a show boat to China?
[Vi] China is beautiful this time of year.
[narrator] China may have been basking in gentle sunshine,
but our two exiles were busy being tempest tossed
on roof of Typhoon Tilly.
A Pacific Ocean Typhoon that comes around
for a visit once a year.
[waves splashing]
[screaming in fright]
[splash]
[narrator] Neither of our two friends
nor their sailing vessel were able to weather
the old Tilly.
Well, as they say on the exile trade,
that's slow boat biz.
Back at the emporium...
She had send them on a slow boat to China?
And the boat has been lost at sea.
Princess Vi has cut off her nose to spite her pretty face
and has become nothing more
than a figure head at the council.
Emperor Fred may be an idiot, but he keep fine credibility.
Perfect opportunity for Big Cheese to take over.
We better launch a search party at once.
[narrator] While Guido and companies spun their wheels,
Big Cheese was doing exactly as expected:
taking over the council.
[cackles]
[narrator] This was Big Cheese's dream come true,
as it would finally give him
a chance to rule Little Tokyo with an iron fist.
[laughs]
It also gives me the opportunity
to wear this cute little outfit I bought last week.
Now, Al Dente, as to the rules of the game,
so to speak, you can call me the God Father.
Is that clear, Dead Dane?
[Al] God Father? You're crazy.
Hmm, crazy, huh?
I now have the power of exile.
Would you like to be exiled for insubordination?
No, I wouldn't want that, God Father.
[cackles]
That's the ticket.
Now, the second rule's
that all business in Little Tokyo
must pay 20% of their take to me.
Whoa!
[Cheese] Payment will start immediately.
Oh, Jerry!
[all] Ooh! Not him.
I think you all know my second in command.
I much prefer the term conseillermyself.
What are you talking Al Dente?
Uhm, nothing, sir.
[laughs]
Now the number three is that you in the council
have to carry out any order that I decide to give you.
[cackles]
[narrator ] First starter of the day was to hire
a renown sculptor Leonardo Spumoni
to sculpture statue heralding the new God Father.
Cheese also got a little bill board advertising
along the Sunset Strip.
Meanwhile Speedy and Fred had washed ashore
on a deserted isle off the coast of San Diego.
-Sir, are you alright? -Hu-hmm.
We washed up on this island like a couple of beached whales
with no visible means of return.
[unintelligible gibberish]
[crap latches on]
Why don't you try using your hands to get him off, sir?
Tickle its belly, or its right claw.
[narrator] Meanwhile Guido and Polly reconnoitered.
Seen any sign of them yet, kid?
No I haven't.
And what's this calling me kid all of sudden?
Oh, sorry.
It's just a term of affection, you now.
Oh, I didn't know you felt that way.
Of course I do, Polly.
When this series is over, we should get married,
and raise a family.
[Polly] Forget it. We're gonna run forever.
Ahoy, papa, where are you?
[narrator] Our humbled and contrite princess
had decided to join the search.
Where could they be?
Calling all abroad! Calling all crab.
[cackles]
Whatever fair princess finds, Speedy out of my way,
there is no holding us back.
This town is our roister.
Yeah, but suppose Fred and Speedy washed up
on an island somewhere.
Huh? You mean those two may still be alive?
Vi and the two remaining Pizza Cats seem to think so.
They are searching for them right now.
Then take a couple of Ninja Crows,
and if they are alive, drown them again.
Exit from the chimney.
Right.
[narrator] Speedy and Fred were discovering
the simple pleasures of island life.
Boy, what would I not give for a bowl of spaghetti.
Huh?
A nibble!
Yeah!
It's about time, too! Ya-haa! Yi-hii!
[yelping and yelling]
Holy mackerel, did I say a nibble?
Wo-hoo!
[yelps] [splash]
[fast music]
Hey, mac, I wasn't planning on doing any water skiing.
Princess Vi, it's her ship!
Full speed ahead, yahoo!
[rhythmic music]
[blows bubbles]
Gee, was that something in the water?
[narrator] As though luck, and the writer of this episode,
would have it, the shark pulled Speedy
underwater and the opposite direction
of Vi's searching eye.
Yihaa!
I better take some opposite action here.
[rhythmic music]
Thanks for the ride, but wait till this is over.
[rhythmic music]
[screams]
[frightened screams]
That does it! I'm gonna get us off this island,
if it kills me.
[narrator] Speedy found a trout stream
and used his bare hands to catch dinner.
[Speedy] Will you save some for tomorrow, sir,
because I'm not going fishing again.
You sure know how to put on the old feed bag, huh, sir?
Hmm.
[smacking]
Don't eat too much now, or you'll get sick.
[Fred snoring]
Oh wow, he's out like a life.
Here you go my friend.
Sleep tight now.
May you dream of peace and prosperity.
That big old full moon in the sky
reminds me of the long walks I take with Lucille in autumn.
I wish she was here.
I am here, Speedy. See, I'll prove it to you.
[firecrackers]
Yihuu-hoo-hoo!
[explosion]
Some imagination, huh?
[narrator] Smashing into a cave wall like that
made Speedy pretty drowsy.
He teed off to bed, and got a good night's sleep,
awakening next morning full of energy and resolve.
I'm so full of energy and resolve,
I can roll over and spit silver dollars.
Cook yourself some breakfast, sir, while I go out ,
and some exploring.
[unintelligible gibberish]
[narrator] Unbeknownst to Speedy
strands of unintelligible gibberish was overheard
by two ominous recent arrivals.
Oh, how cozy.
Big Cheese ought to raise my salary
for finding them so easily.
[Shell] Now that we found them, what's your plan, Old Great One?
We'll disguise ourselves as bizarre fanatics.
All except you, Shell.
You'll act the part pf the innocent decoy.
[narrator] While Bad Bird explained the rest of plan
to Shell, Speedy roamed the island.
Ahh, I should have never left the cave
without eating a good breakfast. I'm hungry.
I could build a boat to take us back.
But that's what the audience will be expecting me to do.
This episode's got a couple of more surprises.
-Yack. -Go away.
[narrator] Hardly critics' choice,
but don't worry Speedy, surprises are on the way.
Let's get ready.
He'll come out.
There he is now.
Wait for my signal.
Good. Now. Scream like a coo-coo bird.
[screams]
Again.
[shrieks]
Sacrifices turn to the gods.
[screaming]
[Bad Bird] Sacrifice, sacrifice.
[Shell] Hello! Oh, bad luck! I'm being sacrificed. Ooh!
Oh, thank goodness you are here!
These maniac crows are insane.
[crows crowing]
See, they are crazy.
I owe you big, if you stop this carnage,
Oh, wise and benevolent one.
[unintelligible gibberish]
[narrator] Fred hadn't been called wise and benevolent,
since he had his wisdom teeth removed.
He fell for it, like a ton of melting margarine.
[gibberish]
If you want to stop the sacrifice,
Oh, so wise one, you have to offer a gift to the god.
[gibberish]
Hang on a second.
These will do.
[crows screaming]
[narrator] So far Bad Bird's naughty plan
was working perfectly.
I owe you my life, O Great One.
Now you must allow me to return the favor.
Would you like me to take you back to Little Tokyo?
Yeah! Yeah!
Hold on tight, my learned and generous leader,
and I'll take you on a ride that you never forget.
♪ Ta-da-taa ♪
[cackles]
What a great idea.
Even if little Speedy returns, he won't be able to save
the old geyser.
[singing gibberish]
[clanking sounds]
Ooh?
Oh boy! [mumbles]
[crows cackle]
Let Speedy try to get him out of this.
[waves splashing]
[Speedy] Emperor Fred!
Emperor Fred!
[buzzing sound]
Emperor Fred, hey, Majesty, answer me!
Wow, something is rotten around here.
Just sit and relax, fearless leader.
[gibberish]
I'm going to give you a nice, cool bath.
So take a deep breath now.
Oh-ooh.
Emperor Fred!
Hey, Emperor Fred, where are you?
Eek! What's he doing out there?
Where does he think he's going?
He-hey!
[crows cackle]
The Ninja Crows!
Yes! How observant.
Am I glad to see you! Come to pick us up, have you?
Are you out of your cotton picking skull?
I haven't come to pick you up, you dummy!
My trusty robot Shell Turtlemayor is
is about to drown Emperor Fred this very moment.
You mean you weren't here
to transport us back to Little Tokyo?
Of course not.
Hmm. How disappointing.
Did you say something about the emperor drowning?
[Bad Bird] I believe I just mentioned it.
I can't swim.
I can't save emperor Fred, because I can't swim.
[cackles]
I knew that, Speedy.
Why don't you jump in there, and try anyway?
Ooh! Oh-ho-hoo.
No, you can't do this.
Wanna bet? Double or nothing, he's had it.
Aah! Don't worry! You've got to think of a way.
I've got to save the emperor first,
even if I could smash Bad Bird to smithereens.
Don't think I didn't hear that.
I could! But what good would it do,
if I lose Fred?
None. None.
We finally agree on something, my Italian stallion.
We agree, you are powerless.
No! [Bad Bird laughs]
Wanna see a movie star?
Huh? What are do doing?
My impression of Charlton Heston.
[narrator] Speedy had gotten hold of a rerun
of this obscure Biblical movie on TV the other day.
He didn't remember the name of it,
but he did remember how old Charlton Heston parted
the Red Sea with his magic staff, so...
[electric sound]
Star exit, whammy! Yihaa!
[waves splashing]
[gibberish]
[smacks down]
[exciting music]
Stay right there, sir. I'm coming!
How corny.
[narrator] Just then Speedy saw a sight that made him stop
dead on his tracks. Princess Vi's ship
which looked just like the boat Heston was chained on
earlier in the movie, but without the oars,
was about to launch head long into the chasm he created.
Oh! What's this? Oh!
Trying to do something nice for somebody!
Reverse sail!
Reverse speed! Reverse speed!
[indistinct shouting]
Are you okay?
[Fred] Oh yeah. We'll have ding dong.
Oh! Holy Moses! Huh!
Go on!
All the way! Stop struggling.
Darn it!
We are almost there, sir! we are almost there.
Hold your breath!
[dramatic music]
[panting]
-[Fred] Hi! -Speedy] Huh?
Hi, Speedy! Ready to go ten rounds of me and the boys?
Might be fun with fat Fred on your back.
Grrr!
[narrator] Out over the Pacific Guido and Polly have
finally managed with their sophisticated equipment
to accomplish what Bad Bird had done
with only his eye balls in half a time:
Find Speedy on the island.
Let's go in!
[screaming]
Hi-yihaa!
[panting]
I'm too pooped to pop ya.
Ha-ha! My sword will be swift and painless.
[screams]
[screaming]
[fast music]
Hey..ee!
[Guido] Four against one, Bad Bird?
Huh?
We don't like those odds.
Attack him!
[all scream]
[fighting sounds]
[fast music]
[slam]
Piece of cake.
Let's find another island, fellas.
I need a vacation.
Wow! I need one, too.
Argh! Why me?
[narrator] Needless to say, but I say it anyway,
with Fred return,
Big Cheese was deposed from the top seat in the council.
So much for that cute little outfit.
[Cheese] How can you stare at the floor like a zombie,
when I'm so angry, I can lose my breakfast. Argh!
I don't even feel like exploding.
-[Jerry] Do shut up! -Huh?
I'll do the exploding for you!
[screaming]
[explosion]
That felt great, but I think it's time to collapse now.
Okay.
[slam]
You did it again!
You added sugar to my tea!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Exile him immediately!
How many times I have to tell this council,
before it sinks in?
Don't mess with my munches! Don't mess with my munches...
[narrator] ladies and gentlemen,
the Samurai Pizza Cat fan club oath.
The Pizza Cats are Samurai,
and I like to note.
Their antics take your breath away.
Like fur balls in your throat.
We kittens are a special breed, we never call retreat.
Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down,
we run upon our feet.
[narrator] So hail to thee, O, Pizza Cat,
please ring your little bell.
Although you may be pen and ink, we'll know you'll fight like,
Pizza Cats!
[ending theme music]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ We hope you liked the show It's the best that we can do ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ If you could do better Then we leave it up to you ♪
♪ Just a reminder You might like to know ♪
♪ The cats will be back For another big show ♪
[laughter]
♪ Oh Gosh ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ They are fighting crime ♪
♪ Oh Yes ♪
♪ All over town ♪
[laughter]
♪ Oh Yeah ♪
♪ Two...Four...Six...Eight Why do we exaggerate ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ Read all the credits So you know who did the work ♪
[laughter]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪